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How to Be a Complete and Utter Failure in Life, Work & Everything: 44 1/2 Steps to Lasting Underachievement

How to Be a Complete and Utter Failure in Life, Work & Everything: 44 1/2 Steps to Lasting Underachievement

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Step One. Don’t decide what you want. If you do decide what you want, don’t think about why you want it. And if you do decide why you want it, commit to believing you can’t have it

Step Two. Don’t do things on purpose

Step Three. Don’t stop working for a living

Step Four. Don’t know what you value in life (and if you do, lose sight of it)

Step Five. Don’t spend any of your time in the future

Step Six. Don’t have any goals

Step Seven. If you do have goals, don’t put them in writing, and if you do, don’t think too big

Step Eight. Don’t plan your priorities

Step Nine. Don’t involve other people

Step Ten. Don’t have a mentor or be a mentor

Step Eleven. Don’t get advice from people you’ve never met or who are dead

Step Twelve. Don’t take action right now

Step Thirteen. Don’t get feedback on your actions

Step Fourteen. Don’t adjust

Step Fifteen. Don’t get even more feedback, don’t be flexible . . . (you get the idea)

Step Sixteen. Don’t practice continuous improvement

Step Seventeen. Don’t wear a parachute

Step Eighteen. Don’t change your beliefs

Step Nineteen. Don’t stop having a deep fear of failure and of making a fool of yourself

Step Twenty. Don’t take personal responsibility for your life and results

Step Twenty-one. Don’t stop believing in luck

Step Twenty-two. Don’t expand your comfort zone

Step Twenty-three. Don’t use inside-out thinking

Step Twenty-four. Don’t put things in before you try to take things out

Step Twenty-five. Don’t control your moods

Step Twenty-six. Don’t transform your language

Step Twenty-seven. Don’t think about the first four minutes

Step Twenty-eight. Don’t talk and think about what you want

Step Twenty-nine. Don’t go to the movies

Step Thirty. Don’t stop being an unthinking dog

Step Thirty-one. Don’t ask, “How do you do that?” Don’t act “as if.” And don’t be naïve

Step Thirty-two. Don’t change the meaning of things

Step Thirty-three. Don’t stop thinking only about money, money, money

Step Thirty-four. Don’t have a good laugh

Step Thirty-five. Don’t be creative or innovative

Step Thirty-six. Don’t think of your own idea to go here

Step Thirty-seven. Don’t stop always taking “no” for an answer

Step Thirty-eight. Don’t be grateful

Step Thirty-nine. Don’t commit to lifelong learning

Step Forty. Don’t be a leader

Step Forty-one. Don’t learn to communicate

Step Forty-two. Don’t understand the secrets of great teams and great customer service

Step Forty-three. Don’t develop winners and winning relationships

Step Forty-four. Don’t step up. Don’t do extraordinary things

Step Forty-four-and-a-half. Don’t stop doing everything by halves, that’s if you do anything at all

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Preface - Pg. iv

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