F When All Else Fails 219 him or her to self-reflect results in a lost opportunity to help the person grow and get better at his or her job--which, as a coach with a developmental bias, is your job. What are you learning as a coach? You may discover that you need to change something in yourself or in the environ- ment.You need to be open to this and recognize if you're resist- ing that change. This can often be your biggest block. ("I don't want to hear what my part is in this. I don't want to hear that I may have to do something different.") Your number one task here is to continue to create a safe environment for communication and ultimate resolution, even knowing that emotions are going to heat up. The more you're able to stick to the skills described here, the better you'll be able to manage yourself, manage the other person's resistance, pro- mote mutual learning, and come up with an effective plan to re- solve an issue.