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Chapter 10 Give First—People Naturally R... > Give Compliments and Concessions

Give Compliments and Concessions

It’s simple: compliments make us feel good. And concessions make us feel like we’re getting something or getting out of something easily, which makes us feel good. Here’s how …

How to give compliments

Have you ever been given a compliment that feels forced or insincere? This feels horrible. The first and foremost thing is that you are sincere in giving compliments. If you do not typically express your feelings, your compliment may be sincere, but you may come across as insincere because you are uncomfortable. It takes practice. Begin by complimenting those who you’re most comfortable with, and work your way up to more difficult situations.

Another important characteristic of compliments that have a positive impact is that they are specific. The best thing to compliment is something that is within someone’s control. Let’s say that you go to a potential referral partner’s office, which she shares with several colleagues in her practice. Rather than compliment something in the waiting room (which may or may not be her doing), compliment something in her office. Be careful not to compliment something that people can’t easily replicate, like one of my friends did; I have naturally curly hair. When I have the time—which is about as often as it snows in Florida—I straighten it. One day, I made the time to straighten my hair, and my husband and I went out with friends for dinner. My....


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