76 T HE H OW T O ' S One of the most common negative messages we can send to customers, whether intended or not, is, "I think you're stupid." We send that message when we use phrases like, "Do you un- derstand?" with that certain tone of voice, or when we begin talking to a customer as if we are addressing a four-year-old (even though the customer's behavior may be straight out of preschool). If four-year-olds don't appreciate being talked down to, why should adult customers find it enjoyable or satisfying? A cable TV technician described a helpful technique to ensure understanding without demeaning the customer in the Customer Connection Newsletter. The technicians needed to make sure the customer on the phone was starting from the right point: "Before I can help [a subscriber] with a problem, it's important for me to confirm that the set is tuned in to the right channel. . . . When I ask `Is the TV tuned to channel 3?' the customer answers `Yes' automati- cally . . . and I'm uncomfortable saying `Please go