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CHAPTER 7 What You Can Learn About Emoti... > Empathy: The Killer App in Emotional... - Pg. 108

108 INDIVIDUAL leader. I would argue that it is the leader's emotional intelligence, and more specifically, how connected and empathic the leader is, that makes all the difference between the responses. Of course, another question to consider is: What's it like to ride an elevator with you as the leader? The elevator example illustrates the distance that people can feel from their leaders. Some leaders feel very "other" to us, while some find a way to express commonality and sameness. It's not about being friends with direct reports, or being the person everyone wants at the party. Many leaders don't aspire to be the boss everyone socializes with after work. (Of course, some do, and that's fine as well.) The point isn't to become friends; it's to bridge the distance by making others feel comfortable enough to speak truthfully to you, and to feel a connection with you. The alternative? Discomfort leads to disconnection leads to disaffection. Not so good. Empathy: The Killer App in Emotional Intelligence