DETACHING 77 Carol: Well, I guess it would be good to know if leaving at 5 p.m. is acceptable or frowned upon . . . I notice a lot of cars in the office parking lot long after dark! Emily: I know what you mean, and I think each person has to make his or her own choices about that kind of thing. What has surprised you the most about leaving military service? Carol: Definitely the loss of camaraderie. I'm used to having my friends around me when I work, seeing neighbors at the commis- sary, going to events at my kids' school on base. Now everything feels kind of disconnected. Emily: That sounds like a big adjustment. How are you coping with it? Carol: Initially, it was kind of a letdown . . . I was excited about leaving the military and starting my new life, but then it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. At least when I changed jobs and duty stations in the military, it was still the military and a lot remained the same from place to place. Things just got taken care of for you. Now, nothing gets done unless I do it myself! Emily: I imagine that could be overwhelming. I know from work- ing with other veterans over the years that it all takes time to get used to, and pacing yourself can help a lot. I know someone in the finance department who left service about a year ago and faced some of the same challenges you're describing. I'd like to intro- duce you to each other so you can benefit from what he learned along the way. Would you be interested in that? Carol: Yes! That would be great! It is always quicker to learn from someone else's mistakes than to make them all yourself! Successful Detaching Plenty of service members are excited about life outside the military and can't wait to dive into the choices and freedoms they'll have as American Managememt Association · www.amanet.org