yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy CH A P T ER 4 Ge t t i n g P er son a l T he concept of what constitutes persona l behav ior or a persona l question is culturally determined, and there are marked differences bet ween Westerners and Arabs. This is a subject that is rarely discussed openly, since how one defines what is personal or private seems so natu- ral to each group. On the whole, Westerners feel that Arabs become too personal, too soon.* 1 1 Per son a l Qu estions Arabs like to discuss money and may ask what you paid for things or what your salar y is; this is more common among Arabs with less experience around Westerners. If you don't wish to give out the information, consider responding without answering. You can speak on the subject of money in general--how hard it is to stay ahead, high prices, inflation. Af ter a few minutes of this, the listener will realize that you do not intend to give a substantive answer. This is the way Arabs would respond if they were asked a question they did not really want to answer. If you are unmarried, married and childless, or married but have no sons, Arabs may openly ask why. They consider it unusual for an adult to be unmarried, since marriage in Arab societ y is arranged for most people by their families and, in any event, is expected of ever yone. Arab people want children, especially sons, to enhance their prestige and assure them of care in their old age. *By the same token, ta ke care that you are not so reticent that you appear unfriend ly. 23