Step 2: Invent New Frames

With their map in hand, Dan and Stu could see that their patterns of interaction were a product of their own making, even if they felt those patterns were out of their control. This new awareness opens up new possibilities: perhaps Stu's freezing and blocking is just his way of avoiding exposure, and perhaps Dan's lecturing and debating is his way of protecting Stu. No longer convinced that the way they see things is the way things are, they can entertain new ways of seeing. But right now, they can only see things through their frames. This is when third parties come in handy, because they can see things those caught up in a pattern can't. In Dan and Stu's case, that third party was me. For the next few weeks, we worked together to invent new frames.