81 Tip 7: Build Rapport by Pacing the Speaker Pacing is a method listeners use to build a positive relationship with a speaker by imitating or mirroring his or her verbal and nonverbal cues. These cues include breathing, voice rate, vocabulary, favorite phrases, facial expressions, and general body language. Of course, if we imitate too closely, we'll be accused of mimicking, and our attempts to build rapport will be lost. When pacing, the listener focuses on what the speaker is doing as well as on what he or she is saying. The listener then attempts to become more like the speaker. The speaker senses the similarities and feels at ease, because we're more comfortable with people who are more like us. When others' behaviors are very different from our own, we adjust less easily to their styles. This technique isn't meant to manipulate. If your intention is to build rapport, you can do it more easily if you take your attention away from yourself and focus it on the other person. That's the purpose of pacing. As a listener, you can pace those speaking in any of the following ways: Match your voice rate to the speaker's. Speed up or slow down as necessary. Change your voice volume to match the speaker's. Notice and use some of the same words and phrases the speaker does. Approximate the speaker's gestures. Sit forward or back, hands on or off the desk, etc. Don't be too obvious, or you'll be noticed. Approximate the gestures. Breathe at about the same rate, without being too obvious. (If the speaker is a Type A and breathes very fast, be careful not to hyperventilate.) 5: Ten Tips For Tip-Top Listening