66 Emotional Fitness Coaching and millions of others like him; who knows what experiences have helped to cover or inhibit who he really is? `What it indicates, though, is how hard it is, for adults especially, to learn to change how they feel and how they behave in given cir- cumstances. While we may be able to take in information, to a greater or lesser extent, depending on our abilities and learning styles, we are unlikely to learn to make changes that have an impact upon our emo- tional being. For example, Sam won't learn to change his behaviour because you show him it doesn't work. He'll only change it when he gets it for himself and when there is some emotional payoff for him. `That's why so much training doesn't actually work in terms of people changing their behaviour. Training is good for giving informa- tion about technical things, although you could always get that from a book or the internet. But most training that purports to improve motivation or how people communicate, or to help them improve self-awareness and so on, doesn't work because it mainly deals with our cognitive, our logical, thinking selves, ignoring the fact that almost everybody already knows what they should be doing but have