Chapter 2. Parental Messages and Critical Feedback

Our past experiences affect how we handle critical feedback. Much of our past is laden with messages we received as youngsters. Some people internalize their parents’ expectations and beliefs, doing everything in their power to gain approval from their parents and later from others. Often these people come to criticize themselves far more harshly than their parents ever did.

Following is an exercise designed by Madelyn Burley-Allen, author of Managing Assertively (Wiley Press, 1983). It will help you analyze childhood messages you may have encountered and their ramifications to you as an adult.