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Chapter 6: Confused Connections > Imprecise, Pretentious, or Needless Connector... - Pg. 157

Confused Connections To emphasize the good side of Al's character, you can re- verse the order of the clauses: On the one hand, Al is conceited, but on the other hand, he's smart and good with children. What you can't do is give each of Al's three qualities a hand. The following revision is incorrect: On the one hand, Al is conceited, but on the other hand, he's smart, but on the other hand (the third hand!?) he's good with children. or. nor. or. as. You can neither holler down my rain barrel nor climb my apple tree. The reason he couldn't sleep is that he couldn't stop think- ing about Angela. Or: He couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about Angela. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. Imprecise, Pretentious, or Needless Connectors These errors include connectors that just don't say quite what we want them to say. They're not grammatically incor- rect, but they're fuzzy, and they make our speech sound less clear and direct than it should be. The following are some of the most common fuzzballs of the bunch. 69. Where Don't Say: A home run is where the batter hits the ball out of the park. Say Instead: A home run means that the batter has hit the ball out of the park. 157