4.12. Subconscious Beliefs and Assumptions About Anger

Behind the many reasons for angry responses in workplace conflicts lie a set of largely unexamined subconscious beliefs, feelings, and assumptions. As you consider the underlying issues fueling your anger, ask whether you are willing to give up the assumptions on which they rest, question their validity, or alter the conditions that created them.

For example, you may become angry because you believe a coworker or manager treated you unfairly or unjustly, and feel your unfair treatment was not natural, inevitable, or a result of your own actions, but reflected a conscious choice on their part. Their actions will then seem wrong to you, because if they had a clear choice to treat you fairly and did not, it must be because they harbor a hostile intent.