Chapter 9. EXPLORE RESISTANCE AND NEGOTIATE COLLABORATIVELY

Conflict develops when one feels [oneself] to be in the right and runs into opposition. If one is not convinced of being in the right, opposition leads to craftiness or high-handed encroachment but not to open conflict. If a man is entangled in a conflict, his only solution lies in being so clear-headed and inwardly strong that he is always ready to come to terms by meeting the opponent halfway. To carry on the conflict to the bitter end has evil effects even when one is in the right because the enmity is then perpetuated.

——I Ching

Some conflicts will always be beyond our skill or capacity to handle, even after trying all the techniques and suggestions outlined in preceding chapters. Sometimes we are simply too close to the problem to respond creatively, the issues are too complex to resolve on our own, or our skills are not adequate to the challenge. Sometimes emotions or positions have become too entrenched, the organizational culture is too avoidant or discouraging of resolution, or our opponent is too committed to keeping the conflict going for psychological reasons we are unable to approach, assuage, or abolish. What do we do then?