62 I NTERPERSONAL N EGOTIATIONS relationships and negotiations. They cause us to be self-protective and self- righteous and even vindictive rather than committed to achieving outcomes that will mutually benefit us and others. Distinguish Between Problems and Conflicts It is important in our negotiations to distinguish between problems and con- flicts. Problems are the external, substantive topics that we talk about. Prob- lems are things such as the price of something, the operating system, whether something got done, a schedule, the terms in a contract, who we should vote for, or where we should go for dinner or vacation. Conflicts are one type of problem. Conflicts exist when there is a problem with a relationship, when people do not feel safe, respectful, and resolved with each other. Conflicts exist when people do not accept each other or how they have been treated. Conflict is synonymous with nonacceptance. Hence, the resolution of conflict is the result of understanding and acceptance. It is useful to note that problems are external and quantitative and are often caused by limited resources. They require compromise in order for both parties to be satisfied. Relationship conflicts, on the other hand, are unlimited and qualitative and are caused by a lack of understanding and acceptance. Un- derstanding and acceptance are a matter of human choice. This means that every problem or conflict can be resolved if the parties involved choose to do so and have the resources to do so.