110 brilliantpositivepsychology In the next chapter we will look at good emotional coping strate- gies in more detail. Mostly we recognise and respond to emotions subconsciously. Remembering, or being present enough, to take account of the fact that what you are feeling is affecting how you are thinking is good emotional management. In an ideal world we would all become as emotionally steady as the Dalai Lama. Learning to accept, understand and manage how we are feeling takes time and practice, even when we are lucky enough to be born innately empathetic and emotionally skilled. Putting emotional intelligence to work Do you respond badly to certain emotions in others? Or in yourself? How do you want other people to feel when they are with you? Do you feel this way yourself? brilliant exercise Becoming aware of your emotional intelligence: Describe a situation that occurred in the last month, in which you successfully identified and managed your own emotions and those of others. What skills did you use to manage your emotions? And those of other people? Describe a situation in which it was critical for you to identify and manage your own emotions, and those of others, but you were not successful in doing so.