Scream of the Crop: How to Resize and Crop Photos

Photographer: Scott Kelby  Exposure: 1/40  Focal Length: 14mm  Aperture Value: ƒ/20

I love the title of this chapter—it’s the name of an album from the band Soulfarm (tell me that Soulfarm wouldn’t make a great name for a horror movie!). Anyway, I also found a band named Cash Crop, which would make a great title, too, but when I looked at their album, every song was marked with the Explicit warning. I listened to a 30-second preview of the first track (which was featured in the original motion picture soundtrack for the movie Sorority Row), and I immediately knew what kind of the music they did. Naughty, naughty music. Anyway, while I was listening, and wincing from time to time as F-bombs exploded all around me, I realized that someone at the iTunes Store must have the full-time job of listening to each song and choosing the 30-second preview. I imagine, at this point, that person has to be 100% completely numb to hearing things like the F-bomb, the S-missile, and the B-grenade (which means they could totally do a stint as Joe Pesci’s nanny). But, I digress. The “Scream of the Crop” title (which would make a great title for a movie about evil corn) is almost ideal for this chapter, except for the fact that this chapter also includes resizing. So, I thought, what the heck, and searched for “resize” and found a song called “Undo Resize” by electronic ambient artist DJ Yanatz Ft. The Designers, and it literally is an 8:31 long background music track with two European-sounding women whispering the names of menu commands from Adobe products. Stuff like “Select All,” “Fill,” “Distort,” “Snap to Grid,” and so on. I am not making this up (go listen to the free 30-second preview). It was only 99¢, which is a bargain for 8+ minutes of menu commands set to music. Normally, this many minutes of menu commands set to music would ....