Possesses Self-Awareness

Although certainly an inherent trait in some people, self-awareness is a skill that can be honed by opening yourself up to understanding how others react to you. This takes a tremendous amount of courage and objectivity, but receiving feedback—both positive and critical in nature—helps us improve. This is a form of a self-retrospective—or introspection.

The hardest part about self-awareness for some people is processing the negative feedback. People naturally have an emotional response to negative feedback, often because they desire to do well and do not wish to disappoint. Negative feedback can be perceived as rejection. If you fall into this camp, consider the following advice. When you receive less-than-stellar feedback about yourself and you’re feeling red in the face, the first thing to do is think about it before responding. A simple “Thank you for your feedback” will suffice while you take the time to process it. In your journal or diary, or discussion with yourself in the mirror, ask, “How did I earn this feedback?” Think about the scenario. What did you do? What did others do? Was it a misunderstanding of the information, or did you unintentionally cut off someone in a meeting? Why are you having an emotional response? Take some time to look at the situation objectively while the emotional response subsides. Sometimes it may take you a day, weeks, or months to fully understand the situation. In the meantime, display good leadership by supporting the relationship until you’ve figured out a new behavior or a new way to proceed. Once you have identified it, have a discussion with the team member to let them know that you have a solution. Ask for future feedback about the changes you have decided to implement and keep the dialogue open.