Rules of Engagement

• Remember that empathy pays. The great advantage of being a customer of your own product or service is that you automatically have empathy for other customers. You understand what they are going through. You understand their needs. You are extremely sensitized to how various offerings can fulfill those needs (or not). It’s an important principle for all product and service developers, regardless of your engagement strategy.

  I’ve actually seen companies treat their customers with hostility. They see their customers as too demanding, wanting too much, and willing to pay too little. It is an unfortunate and unprofitable condition in many business-to-business relationships. A classic example is the relationship, or lack thereof, between automobile manufacturers and their component suppliers. The contentious relationship between these parties keeps both from being as profitable as they could. They have little empathy for each other’s situation—just a push to get the most that each can wring out of the other, even if one of the parties fails.

  Could a hard-headed executive from Detroit learn anything about empathy from Two Little Hands? Try this: Never regard customers as aliens from another class or culture, never unfairly take advantage of your customers or suppliers, identify and respect everyone’s values and expectations, and treat everyone as friends and pilgrims in an increasingly complex world.

  NEVER REGARD CUSTOMERS AS ALIENS FROM ANOTHER CLASS OR CULTURE, NEVER UNFAIRLY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR CUSTOMERS OR SUPPLIERS, IDENTIFY AND RESPECT EVERYONE’S VALUES AND EXPECTATIONS, AND TREAT EVERYONE AS FRIENDS AND PILGRIMS IN AN INCREASINGLY COMPLEX WORLD.

• Keep a little distance if you do get inside your customer’s head. Being too close to a customer need might cause you to lose perspective. Rachel and Emilie have been successful because they intimately understand the needs of hearing-impaired children and their playmates. But they also stood back from their venture to get a sense of what would work in their markets; they were not driven only by their needs. They were also able to put themselves in the shoes of others.

• Trust your intuition when you are inside your customer’s head. That’s the way Rachel and Emilie operate. Plenty of experts are always ready to provide you with advice. Just remember that they’ve formed their opinions based on what they know; you might know more or know something readily applicable to the business you are trying to build, and the experts’ knowledge might not fit your situation. It’s especially true if, like Rachel and Emilie, you are venturing into new territory.

  But never stop weighing the advice of experts against your own experience and intuition. If you disagree with what they are telling you, don’t stay silent; argue with the advice giver. The truth might lie somewhere in between what you and others think. For your business to remain successful, you must stay as close as possible to the truth about your customers.

  BUT NEVER STOP WEIGHING THE ADVICE OF EXPERTS AGAINST YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE AND INTUITION. IF YOU DISAGREE WITH WHAT THEY ARE TELLING YOU, DON’T STAY SILENT; ARGUE WITH THE ADVICE GIVER. THE TRUTH MIGHT LIE SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN WHAT YOU AND OTHERS THINK.

• You can commercialize an idea even if it emerges from a high sense of purpose. Commercialization might seem to violate the grand purpose that spawned a great idea. But unless you get a product or service into the marketplace and sustain its supporting business, the idea won’t benefit anyone but you. There is nothing wrong with making a profit, even when you started your company to bring about some greater good. In fact, you need profits to invest in the growth of your business, and you are always free to decide what to do with any excess profits. A moral or social purpose can coexist with commercialization.