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Chapter 4. Finding and Adding Friends > Responding to Friend Requests
4.4. Responding to Friend Requests
When someone tries to add you to her friend list, two things happen: Facebook sends you an email invitation and posts a little notice on your Home page telling you that someone wants to be your friend. At that point, you’ve got two choices: You can confirm the request or ignore it, either on Facebook or right in your email program.
4.4.1. Confirming Email Requests
If you’re the type of person who checks his email every hour (or every 5 minutes) but only logs onto Facebook every couple of days, you’ll want to handle friend requests from inside your email program. Here’s how:
Open the message and click the green Confirm Friend button or the confirmation link. Doing so whisks you to the Facebook page where you can confirm your friendship as explained in the next section.
4.4.2. Confirming Requests in Facebook
Some people log into Facebook whenever they’re in front of a computer. If you’re one of them, it’s easier to respond to friend requests from your Facebook Home page than to fire up your email program and wade through your inbox looking for invitations. To confirm a friend request from inside Facebook:
At the top of any Facebook page, click the Friend Requests icon just to the right of the word “facebook”. The icon looks like the heads and shoulders of two little people (hover your cursor over the icons to see what each one is called). Above it, you’ll see a red icon indicating how many friend requests you have. When you click it, Facebook takes you to the Confirm Requests page.
Note:
Friend requests also appear on the upper-right side of your Home page under Requests. (If you don’t have any friend requests, you won’t see any listed under Requests.) Simply click the “friend request(s)” link there to view them.
Make sure you want to accept the request, and then click Confirm. After you click Confirm, you’re Facebook friends with that person. Easy, huh?
Note:
If you’ve never heard of the person who sent you the friend request, the message he sent doesn’t make sense, or the two of you have no friends in common, then you probably want to click the person’s name and check out his profile (and perhaps send him a “Do I know you?” message by clicking the Send Message link that appears beneath his profile picture) to make sure the request is on the up-and-up.
Tip:
To see what friends you and your new friend have in common, Facebook lets you know by displaying a “[number] mutual friend(s)” link after the person’s name on the Confirm Requests page. Simply click this link or, on the right side of her profile page, click the Mutual Friends link to see the acquaintances you share.
4.4.3. Ignoring a Friend Request
In Facebook as in life, there will be times when someone extends the hand of friendship and you just don’t want to shake it. After all, confirming a friend request doesn’t only give your new pal (and all the Facebook applications he uses; see Section 13.2.1) access to a big chunk of your personal life; it also lets the world know that you think enough of the guy to declare yourself his friend. If you get a friend request from someone you’ve never heard of, say, or whose profile paints a picture so creepy you want to lock your virtual door, all you have to do is quietly remove all traces of the request and get on with your life. To do so:
Sign into Facebook (Section 2.7) if you’re not already there.
On the screen that appears, click Not Now. That’s all you have to do: Facebook instantly removes the red number above the Friend Requests icon on your Home page.
Note:
The guy who sent the invitation won’t be notified that you’ve officially ignored him; he just won’t receive a confirmation that you’re friends.
Back in your email program, delete the friend-request email.
Note:
If you say “not now” to a friend request and then find yourself reconsidering later, no sweat—you can still accept the request. To do so, at the top of any Facebook page, click the Friend Requests icon; then click See All Friend Requests. On the Requests page that appears, click the See Hidden Requests link. After you do, Facebook gives you the chance to confirm the request, or delete it for good.
