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    Copyright
    The Rules of Management: A Definitive Code for Managerial Success, Expanded Edition
    The Rules of Work: A Definitive Code for Personal Success, Expanded Edition
    The Rules of Life: A personal code for living a better, happier, and more successful kind of life, Expanded Edition
    Pt.  I. Rules for You
    Rule 1. Keep It Under Your Hat
    Rule 2. You’ll Get Older But Not Necessarily Wiser
    Rule 3. Accept What Is Done Is Done
    Rule 4. Accept Yourself
    Rule 5. Know What Counts and What Doesn’t
    Rule 6. Dedicate Your Life to Something
    Rule 7. Be Flexible in Your Thinking
    Rule 8. Take an Interest in the Outside World
    Rule 9. Be on the Side of the Angels, Not the Beasts
    Rule 10. Only Dead Fish Swim with the Stream
    Rule 11. Be the Last to Raise Your Voice
    Rule 12. Be Your Own Adviser
    Rule 13. No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt
    Rule 14. I Wish I’d Done That—and I Will
    Rule 15. It’s OK to Give Up
    Rule 16. Count to Ten—or Recite “Baa Baa Black Sheep”
    Rule 17. Change What You Can Change; Let Go of the Rest
    Rule 18. Aim to Be the Very Best at Everything You Do—Not Second Best
    Rule 19. Don’t Expect to Be Perfect
    Rule 20. Don’t Be Afraid to Dream
    Rule 21. If You’re Going to Jump Off a Bridge, Make Sure You Know How Deep the Water Is
    Rule 22. Don’t Dwell on the Past
    Rule 23. Don’t Live in the Future
    Rule 24. Get On with Life—It’s Whooshing Past
    Rule 25. Be Consistent
    Rule 26. Dress Like Today Is Important
    Rule 27. Have a Belief System
    Rule 28. Leave a Little Space for Yourself Each Day
    Rule 29. Have a Plan
    Rule 30. Have a Sense of Humor
    Rule 31. Choose How You Make Your Bed
    Rule 32. Life Can Be a Bit Like Advertising
    Rule 33. Get Used to Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
    Rule 34. Learn to Ask Questions
    Rule 35. Have Dignity
    Rule 36. It’s OK to Feel Big Emotions
    Rule 37. Keep the Faith
    Rule 38. You’ll Never Understand Everything
    Rule 39. Know Where True Happiness Comes From
    Rule 40. Life Is a Pizza
    Rule 41. Know When to Let Go—When to Walk Away
    Rule 42. Retaliation Leads to Escalation
    Rule 43. Look After Yourself
    Rule 44. Maintain Good Manners in All Things
    Rule 45. Prune Your Stuff Frequently
    Rule 46. Remember to Touch Base
    Rule 47. Draw the Lines Around Yourself
    Rule 48. Shop for Quality, Not Price
    Rule 49. It’s OK to Worry, or to Know How Not To
    Rule 50. Stay Young
    Rule 51. Throwing Money at a Problem Doesn’t Always Work
    Rule 52. Think for Yourself
    Rule 53. You Are Not in Charge
    Rule 54. Have Something in Your Life That Takes You Out of Yourself
    Rule 55. Only the Good Feel Guilty
    Rule 56. If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at All
    Pt.  II. Partnership Rules
    Rule 57. Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common
    Rule 58. Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves
    Rule 59. Be Nice
    Rule 60. You Want to Do What?
    Rule 61. Be the First to Say Sorry
    Rule 62. Go That Extra Step in Trying to Please Them
    Rule 63. Always Have Someone—or Something—That Is Pleased to See You
    Rule 64. Know When to Listen and When to Act
    Rule 65. Have a Passion for Your Life Together
    Rule 66. Make Sure Your Love Making is Making Love
    Rule 67. Keep Talking
    Rule 68. Respect Privacy
    Rule 69. Check You Both Have the Same Shared Goals
    Rule 70. Treat Your Partner Better Than Your Best Friend
    Rule 71. Contentment Is a High Aim
    Rule 72. You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules
    Pt.  III. Family and Friends Rules
    Rule 73. If You Are Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend
    Rule 74. Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones
    Rule 75. Let Your Kids Mess Up for Themselves—They Don’t Need Any Help from You
    Rule 76. Have a Little Respect and Forgiveness for Your Parents
    Rule 77. Give Your Kids a Break
    Rule 78. Never Lend Money Unless You Are Prepared to Write It Off
    Rule 79. Keep Quiet
    Rule 80. There Are No Bad Children
    Rule 81. Be Up Around People You Love
    Rule 82. Give Your Kids Responsibilities
    Rule 83. Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home
    Rule 84. Your Kids Will Have Friends You Don’t Like
    Rule 85. Your Role as a Child
    Rule 86. Your Role as a Parent
    Pt.  IV. Social Rules
    Rule 87. We’re All Closer Than You Think
    Rule 88. It Doesn’t Hurt to Forgive
    Rule 89. It Doesn’t Hurt to Be Helpful
    Rule 90. What’s in It for Them?
    Rule 91. Hang Out with Positive People
    Rule 92. Be Generous with Your Time and Information
    Rule 93. Get Involved
    Rule 94. Keep the Moral High Ground
    Rule 95. Just Because You Have, Doesn’t Mean They Have, Too
    Rule 96. Do Compare Yourself with Other People
    Rule 97. Have a Plan for Your Career
    Rule 98. Look at the Long-Term Ramifications of What You Do for a Living
    Rule 99. Be Good at Your Job
    Rule 100. Be Aware of the Damage You Are Doing
    Rule 101. Be for the Glory, Not the Degradation
    Rule 102. Be Part of the Solution, Not the Problem
    Rule 103. Check What History Would Say About You
    Rule 104. Not Everything Can Be Green
    Rule 105. Put Something Back
    Rule 106. Find a New Rule Every Day—or Occasionally at Least
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    Help

    Rule 34. Learn to Ask Questions

    Look, you may not like the answers, but at least you’ll know. Most of the world’s problems can be laid firmly at the feet of assumptions. If we assume (no, I’m not going to do that dreadful “it makes an ass out of u and me” stuff[*]) then, in effect, we think we know but we don’t. We assume that our bit of faulty information is a fact, and things go on getting worse. We assume that other people like our plan but they don’t, and it all goes pear-shaped. Better to ask questions right from the start and know what’s what.

    [*] I know I did but that was a joke.

    Questions help clarify the situation. Questions put people on the spot, which means they have to think—and thinking is always a good thing for everybody about everything. Questions help people clarify their thoughts. Questions demand answers, and answers require the situation to be thought through, to its logical conclusion.


      

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