Rule 95. Just Because You Have, Doesn’t Mean They Have, Too

I was at school with a guy whose family had relatively little money when he was growing up. Actually, compared to many people in the world, he really wasn’t that badly off. But compared to most of the other kids in school, he had less. This is partly what drove him to get a high-powered city job eventually, and he is now very comfortably off. Probably better off than most of the people he was at school with. But boy does he have a chip on his shoulder about money. He hugely resents anyone having money they haven’t worked as hard for as he has, and he makes cutting remarks to friends, such as, “It’s nice that you can afford to go to the Bahamas for a month on vacation. Not everyone can, you know.” That’s certainly true, but he can.

Look, everyone has troubles to cope with, now and in the past. You can’t give other people a hard time just because they haven’t suffered like you have. Whether you had a rotten childhood, are poor, have a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, didn’t get the job you wanted, or can’t have a dog because you’re allergic—whether your troubles are big or small, the point is that it’s not their fault. You have no idea what else your friends have had to contend with in their lives, or will so in the future. They may not have it any easier than you on balance.