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Chapter 2. Bullying > TOT-Busters Q&A

2.5. TOT-Busters Q&A

2.5.1. Question

My TOT bullies me almost daily. He comes to my cubicle and chants the same thing over and over again: "Why isn't it done? It should have been done. It better get done!" Can't I just say, "Stop ranting, it saps my motivation?"

2.5.2. Answer

You'll never get a bully to stop by asking, unfortunately. Quell his anger first by acknowledging or validating what he is saying: "you need this work to be done today (or tomorrow or 'in X time')." Mirror back to him what he wants. Then tell him what you reasonably can accomplish: "I'll have it done by 3:00 pm, so it will definitely be done today." Once he is calm, make constructive suggestions to avoid this situation in the future: "Could we set deadlines together on the next project in advance? Then I can be sure to deliver the goods when you expect them."

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