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    Copyright
    Contents
    How to Use This Book
    Introduction
    1. Why Interpersonal Skills Are So Important
    2. People Don't Care How Much You Know Until They Know How Much You Care
    3. Social Intelligence vs. Technical Knowledge
    4. Be Socially Aware
    5. Relationships Are Priority
    6. The Nature of Your Relationships
    7. Envision What You Want From Your Relationships
    8. Behave in a Way That Secures Relationships
    9. Look for Ways to Serve Others
    10. Don't Ingratiate
    11. Apply the Pygmalion Effect
    12. Believe That All People Start With Good Intentions
    13. Give 'Em the Benefit of the Doubt
    14. Live by the Golden Rule
    15. Practice the Platinum Rule
    16. Always Look Toward Solutions
    17. Have Reasonable Expectations of Yourself
    18. Have Reasonable Expectations of Others
    19. Be Principle-Centered
    20. Allow Others to Hold to Their Principles
    21. Set Boundaries
    22. Defend Your Boundaries
    23. Be Genuine
    24. Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously
    25. Have a Sense of Humor
    26. Laugh at Yourself
    27. Cherish Your Goofs
    28. Social Skills Are Always a Work in Progress
    29. Your Character--and Your Reputation--Is Your Calling Card
    30. Be Authentic
    31. Act With Integrity
    32. Build Trust
    33. Keep Your Word
    34. Be Straight Up
    35. View Discernment as a Gift
    36. Always Show Respect
    37. Practice Tolerance
    38. Choose Words Carefully
    39. Words: I vs. We
    40. Use Kind Words
    41. Don't Kill Relationships With Your Behavior
    42. Do Not Gossip
    43. Don't Be Dismissive
    44. Don't Be Condescending
    45. Don't Be Manipulative
    46. Don't Make Assumptions
    47. Don't Be Pessimistic
    48. Don't Be a Cynic
    49. Don't Be Over-Reactive
    50. Don't Be Domineering
    51. Don't Be Overly Opinionated
    52. Don't Be Overly Aggressive
    54. Believe in Others
    55. Wage Peace in Your Relationships
    56. Be a Peacemaker Between Friends
    57. Respect Different Personality Types
    58. Understand Different Styles
    59. Recognize That Styles Differ From Opinions
    60. Know Your Own Style
    61. Stretch Beyond Your Style
    62. Embrace Different Styles
    63. Determine if You Are Shy
    64. Overcome Shyness
    65. Overcome Feeling Inferior
    66. Overcome Feeling Intimidated
    67. Don't Be Too Talkative
    69. Get Out of Your Own Way
    70. Douse the Domineering
    71. Don't Be Reactive
    72. Tackle the Intimidator
    73. Strive for Live Interaction
    74. Practice Face-to-Face Communication
    75. At Least Make It Live
    76. Beware of E-mail
    77. Remember That People Are Creatures of Emotion
    78. Fill the Emotional Bank Account
    79. Make Friends
    80. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence
    81. Remember Names
    82. Look 'Em in the Eye
    83. Give Your Undivided Attention
    84. Be "Present"
    85. Practice Good Listening
    86. Connect With People Through Questions
    87. Be Careful With Your Opinions
    88. Withhold Judgment
    89. See Both Sides
    90. Edify, Edify, Edify
    91. Give Honesty With an Equal Dose of Compassion
    92. Help Others Be Heard
    93. Help Others Be Understood
    94. Allow People to Save Face
    95. Encourage
    96. Encourage With Words and Perspective
    97. Pat Others on the Back
    98. Be a Cheerleader
    99. Help Others Achieve Their Goals
    100. Let Others Shine
    101. Look for Reasons to Celebrate
    102. Remember Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Such
    103. Fill Your Own Emotional Bank Account
    104. Feed Your Own Needs
    105. Call on Your Support Group
    106. Keep Honest Company
    107. Get Inspired
    108. Find Friends Who Edify You in Your Absence
    109. Find a Class Act to Follow
    110. Take a "People Break"
    111. Sharpen the Saw by Sharpening Your Mind
    112. Get Away From Your Desk for Lunch
    113. Attend Social Events
    114. Handle Conflict With Confidence
    115. Can't We All Just Get Along?
    116. 365 Opportunities for Conflict--366 in a Leap Year
    117. See Conflict or Disagreement as an Opportunity
    118. See Rough Starts as an Opportunity
    119. Breathe!
    120. Give Yourself a Pep Talk
    121. Have the Difficult Conversations Beforehand
    122. Handle Conflict One-on-One
    123. Having Your Say Doesn't Mean Always Having Your Way
    124. Learn to Eat Crow
    125. Bring the Peace Pipe
    126. Break Bread
    127. Fight Fair
    128. Be Mindful of Your Thoughts; They Can Be a Path to the Dark Side
    129. Don't Take Things Personally
    130. Don't Make Things Personal
    131. He Who Keeps His Mouth Shut, Keeps His Life
    132. Dial Down the Volume
    133. Watch Your Body Language--It Speaks Volumes
    134. Give People Space
    135. What Goes Over the Devil's Back, Always Comes Under His Belly
    136. There Is No Right or Wrong
    137. Winner Never Takes All
    138. Fight for the Relationship
    139. Get Clear
    140. Present, Don't Persuade
    141. Ask, Don't Tell
    142. Look for Middle Ground
    143. Start From a Point of Commonality
    144. Some Nuts Are Worth Cracking
    145. Put the "Moose on the Table"
    146. Pick Your Battles
    147. Mend Fences
    148. Forgive Yourself for Failings
    149. Forgive Others as Well
    150. Be the First to Offer the Olive Branch--or the Peace Pipe
    151. Every Difficult Relationship Has Lessons
    Index
    About the Authors
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    22. Defend Your Boundaries - Pg. 39

    Quick Ideas 20 to 22 Epilogue You should have boundaries to make your personal in- teractions with others appropriate to you. You'll find others have them, too, and will appreciate yours. Defend Your Boundaries Once you have set Assignment your boundaries, vigor- 22